Belive it or not, i am one of those fools who bought that idea. Got rid of everything i owned, my car, my forniture, even my house and decided to go my own way. I don't take any pride into this, i actually recognize this is a foolish act. So if you feel that urge, think twice. But i know this is where i belong.
Rome, 09 January 2017The moment i sold the house the feeling of having lost everything overwhelmed me and crushed me. I felt as if i was drowning, i had nothing left, no more anchors, nothing steady in my life, i was a fucking disgrace.
I asked myself many times "am i giving up on life?".
Soon i realized i actually only given up on the standard lifestyle most people is used to live.
Work, House, Family, Marriage, Kids, Work more, Die.
I never loved that scenario. Even when i tried, it was too tight on me.
So one day i found the courage to follow my nature and toss that mask i was trying to fit into.
It would have been lovely to be as everybody else in my family, in my neighborhood, in the civilized west.
That is not me i guess.
Unsteady job, unsteady lifeI am used to have an unsteady job, i am a freelance desinger/developer and even if my carreer reached awesome peaks, it was always on the line. All i need to do now is get used to an unsteady lifestyle and relations. Well, that is not that difficult after all. So i gave up on everything but not my job. The money is still good and i am still decent at it. It will keep my finances from being burnt while i explore for new opportunities.
Freedom is scaryHowever, freedom is scary.
It is. Too many options wind up being like no option. You get tangled into your own freedom and it becomes encaging just like a daily shift at the mall. It is confusing. "There is no favorable wind for the sailor who does not know where to go" – Seneca once said. That cheers me up a bit, because after all, if there is one thing i've always had, it was a direction and i've sticked to it all along. I tried to get away from it, just like Ulysses i entertained myself with something that slowly tried to transform me into a pig, but just before i started squealing, i got back into my senses and sailed away to get back on the route that belonged to me.
A map, not a planI already stressed a lot how from my early years of life this lifestyle entered into my blood.
However i am also a man of business, so vanlife will be only a little part of the adventure that will follow.
I want to travel and i want to find new opportunities. I might be back in 6 months or i will be gone for 6 years.
I actually hate to talk about it because there is nothing fixed yet. There is a map, yes, and there is a direction, but there are also hundreds of variables.
That is how i love it. Over-planning and control take away the romanticism. Is just like love. You cannot "plan" to fall in love, that person that makes your heart jump will cross your path.
I rather be on my own than be desperately in love just to fill an empty space.
So is life: i rather live it the way i like rather than fit into someone else's expectations or into a commonly accepted lifestyle.
Dreams and projects have shaped my life so far, and i am sure the flow will get me where i aim as it already did.
I rather fail at this than be miserable in a life of regret.
Keep creating valueTo get away is easy, to make something out of it takes dedication and focus.
That is the key aspect. Don't go for the fun of it, create value at all times and harvest its fruits in the future. Otherwise it will end up being a waste of money and time. Make every day count. Is just like being successful in sports, you need to build up everyday. I was once a successful athlete, so i know the sacrifices that need to be done to reach the goals you create for yourself.
I am ready.